Pain

A freak accident… a heavy television sliding down the stand, blunt force trauma to a hand…my son’s hand.

For weeks I had watched my coworkers pour their energy into preparing for an epic egg drop. A  helicopter dropping 10,000 eggs is quite a sight. As the cars poured in, I thought, “God is so amazing” In a world drowning in school shootings, fear of the future, and divisiveness, His church is rolling out a red carpet to the community. Come and have fun! Come and be loved!

My husband and I had just climbed the stairs to sign our daughter in for the egg drop. As we reached the top, we saw our teenage son helping leaders set up for youth group that night. He was moving a large flat screen tv through a doorway. Just as we passed him, we heard a loud noise. I turned and asked my son, “Are you ok?” He didn’t look at me. He just grabbed his hand as blood went everywhere and he took off running toward the bathroom. My husband and I followed him. “What should we do? Is it bad?” I asked.

As we went through the process of assessing and deciding, God was already showing up for us. Immediately after the accident, a nurse anesthetist ran in and began working on our son. She applied pressure and offered us her medical resources. How incredibly kind it was for her to drop everything to care for my child.

Throughout the entire emergency room experience, God brought us one piece of good news after another. Tendons were not torn. “If it had sliced through at any other angle, it would have cut the tendon, destroyed the nail bed, etc…” “This is good news,” the physicians kept repeating.

In order to clean, suture the wounds, and partially remove the nail, they had to perform a nerve block. This consisted of eight needle pokes with intense stinging, burning, and swelling. The doctor was a kind soul. He was honest about the impending pain. As they worked on our son’s hand, I held back tears. This man sized child will always be my baby. Watching him suffer was excruciating. Words floated out of my husband’s mouth as our son’s face twisted with each burning sensation. “I wish I could do this for you. I wish I could take your place.”

And it GOT me! It cut me so deeply. Before we celebrate the victory of Sunday, we must acknowledge the sacrifice of Friday. Can you imagine the pain of a father watching his son take the most vicious beatings followed by the slow death on a cross? How did God hold that awful reality in his heart? When He saw the way His son’s face twisted in pain, I’m sure everything in Him wanted to rescue his child. But in the same way we had to allow our son to do this on his own, God had to allow His son to do the same. The harsh reality? Our son was here by accident. I am responsible for God’s pain. I can blame Adam and Eve, but I chose my sin. So I put Jesus there.

Here’s the beauty of Jesus, though. I am not filled with guilt. I am filled with hope and gratitude. Isn’t the gospel such a crazy twisty thing? Good Friday reminds us that the punishment was required. Easter reminds us that the payment was intentional. We are loved. We are forgiven. We are free. I’m thankful that I was reminded of that today. I pray that your Easter season will be meaningful and that you feel loved.